Hey everyone! Today, I have a great guest post from Stephanie Schill. Stephanie is the creator of the personal finance blog WynningInLife.com. A lifetime saver and self-proclaimed shameless couponer, she is passionate about spending consciously and saving intentionally. When not writing she enjoys spending time outdoors with her husband Nick and their daughter Wynn. Below is her story of how her and her husband keep separate finances.
My husband, Nick, and I have been married for 7 years. We are successful in managing our finances happily and relatively stress-free by keeping them separate. In talking with our circle of friends and reading financial advice from experts, I get the feeling this may not be the norm.
But it works for us.
I want to share with you our experience of managing money independently, as a couple. You may be inspired to separate your finances if they are currently joined.
Or it may give you a perspective on how you can be in a relationship but keep your financials separate.
Other content you may be interested in:
- How We Paid off $266,329.01 in 33 Months
- Money And Relationships: Are You On The Verge Of Calling It Quits?
- How My 401k Loan Cost Me $1 Million Dollars
Our earnings & accounts
Nick and I both work corporate jobs, with an approximately 62%/38% split in our earnings. My husband earns a higher salary.
Our daughter is 3 years old and we have a second child on the way. We have one combined savings account that we can both access through Chase. All other accounts: checking, savings, investments, etc. are all managed independently.
Growing up my parents kept independent finances, so that was normal to me. My mom and dad have been married for 41 years and counting, and it has worked for them. They are a huge influence on how I manage my finances today.
While as a married couple I think it’s important to consider all money as “our” money and align on financial goals, managing money independently works really well for us.
Related: How Much Money Should I Save Each Month?
Reasons why managing money independently works for us:
- We don’t argue about money! For example, arguing about how much he spent on this or how much I spent on that.
- Zero bounced checks or overdrafts because we weren’t aware of what the other is spending.
- Birthday, Christmas and other gifts given throughout the year are true surprises.
- We both have financial independence and are able to spend, save, or invest freely as we want.
Separate finances from the beginning
Our independent financial model happened pretty organically. When my husband and I were dating, and through our engagement, we had separate finances.
When we got married and purchased a house in 2011, we had various financial conversations about how to manage our money. It just felt right to continue to manage our own finances individually, but take some action to bring our finances together.
We landed on having one combined savings account and managing all other finances separately. Our preference was to make large financial decisions together but to leave the smaller day-to-day financial choices to each of us independently.
Recurring household bills
All of the household bills are in Nick’s name and he pays all of them every month. That includes things like the mortgage, gas, electric, cell phone bill, etc.
Once per month, I will wire him money that covers my “portion” of the bills, based on my earnings. He earns a higher salary and thus he pays a higher percentage of the bills each month.
For example, let’s say our mortgage, gas, electric, and cell phone bills are $2000 net per month. I will wire him $760 to cover the 38% that I am responsible for. In turn, he covers his 62% which equals $1240, for a total of $2,000.
We both bank through Chase. So I use Chase’s Zelle to effortlessly send him money each month.
Finances beyond recurring household bills
Outside of regular household bills, we each have other regular expenses we pay for individually. I pay for groceries, daycare, and anything that my daughter needs: diapers (thankfully potty trained now), clothing, etc.
Nick will routinely pay for anything around the house. Examples would be all trips to hardware stores when we do projects (he’s a project guy so there’s always something that needs fixing or improving). Typically, anytime we eat out he pays, any taxes we owe annually, any household expense like a broken water heater, or furnace checkup, etc. is usually all him.
Any expenses regarding our vehicles: gas, maintenance, payments, etc. are taken care of by each of us individually.
Our Savings/ Investments
We have one shared savings account that we both access. We both put money into the account, but it is a joint decision if we are to ever take money out of the account. The initial goal of the account was to build an emergency fund. For example, if either of us loses our job or if there is an unexpected medical household emergency.
Over time the account has grown so now our conversations have changed toward investments and identifying ways we can have the money accessible if needed, but have it earn more interest. We all know the fraction of a percentage point any traditional bank will give you on a savings account is nothing relative to what a high-yield savings account or the stock market could yield. The question comes down to how much risk we are willing to bear.
Beyond our one joint savings account, we both manage our own savings and investment accounts. We each have our own personal savings accounts.
While not completely defined, they would be for things like a down payment or cash payment on a car, a future vacation, or a larger ticket item either of us wants to purchase.
I consider it the bridge between our salary and the emergency fund, and money we’ll likely spend but not yet sure on what.
We both have our own individual 401K retirement accounts.
They are through our current employers, and we both contribute to them each paycheck. Recently we both began maxing them out which was a goal of ours for years. We know how important saving for the future is.
Due to changing of jobs over the years, we have both made decisions in the past to roll 401Ks from old employers plans into traditional IRAs.
Beyond traditional 401ks we both have additional investment accounts.
We both use TD Ameritrade to purchase stocks. In my curiosity with personal finance, I’ve also dabbled using Stockpile to purchase fractional shares of stock (or gift stock) and Robinhood to purchase stock. We discuss investments but we don’t get permission from each other before we buy or sell a stock, we just do what feels right.
Separate finances are not perfect
While this independent financial model works really well for us, it’s not without its challenges. As the person earning less money in the relationship, even though I pay a portion of the monthly bills, our take-home pay varies significantly. Meaning, each month Nick still has significantly more money in his account that isn’t allocated toward bills.
I don’t know exactly what he makes or the exact net amount of any bonuses he receives and vice-versa. If I ask him about his balances, he will tell me and vice-versa, but it’s not something I have visibility to on demand.
I know he’s saving money above and beyond our joint savings that I have visibility to. However, I don’t know exactly what is in his personal savings account, or retirement accounts, or investment accounts.
We each have the freedom to make our own financial choices, sometimes when the other may not fully agree. For example, purchasing a specific stock or investment, liquidating a specific stock or investment or spending money on a hobby or entertainment item.
Regular check-ins to stay on the same page
Regularly we check in on our finances with each other. We don’t have a specific time, but at least once per year. Sometimes the catalyst for such a conversation will be a life event: a change in earnings from a new job, unemployment, a large purchase we want to make, or the birth of a child.
We regularly review how we are trending toward our goal of paying off our mortgage early. We’ll share how much we have in our personal savings, retirement, and investment accounts, etc. so we can make larger joint decisions together.
Examples of money decisions we make together:
- Should we move some money from our joint savings account to an investment account that would give a higher return?
- Should we be putting more in our daughter’s college fund?
- Can we put more money toward the mortgage to aid in paying it off faster?
- Is there a vacation we want to take that we should start budgeting for now?
- Are we serious about buying that boat or gutting our master bathroom? If yes, how are we going to pay for it?
Regularly checking in our finances helps to align our finances as a couple, even if we keep them in separate accounts.
Separate finances pros
- The feeling of financial independence. You get to decide where and how to spend or invest your own money.
- Less arguing or heated conversations regarding who spent what on what.
- Ease of budgeting when you know your income, and know your exact financial responsibilities each month.
Separate finances cons
- Less visibility into the day-to-day finances. If you’re a number cruncher or always like to have a pulse on exactly how much is in savings, calculating your net worth, exactly how much is left on the mortgage, or how your significant other is tracking toward their student debt, this may be invisible.
- You may not account for every single expense that arises, so when something unexpected comes up, you may each think it’s the others’ responsibility.
- If you are not the breadwinner, you may have feelings of envy of the extra money your significant other has, even if bills have been calculated relative to income.
- If your partner is a spender, they may spend on things you don’t agree with or nickel and dime their money away each paycheck so they don’t have money to pay a portion of the agreed upon monthly bills.
Is managing money separately as a couple for you?
There are some things you should consider with your partner if you are thinking of going the independent finances route:
- Is your significant other responsible enough for this arrangement? Maybe you’re not good with money or they aren’t good with money.
- How are you going to divvy up the regular, recurring bills?
- Whose responsibility is it for non-recurring or unexpected household bills?
- Whip out your current budget if you have one, or create one. (If you don’t, I recommend a zero-based budget). Identify whose responsibility it will be for every line item in that budget. Being very deliberate and transparent up front will negate heated conversations down the road. Include everything: gifts, holidays, pet food, vet visits, diapers, eating out, groceries, misc. household expenses, takeout, annual lawn maintenance, snow removal, garbage removal, donations, kid’s expenses for school or activities, etc. The list goes on…
- How will you manage savings, retirement or other investments?
- Define how often you will check in with each other regarding the finances, and get household meetings on the calendar.
Separate finances just happened for us. My husband and I had maintained separate finances when we first got together and it became the norm as we got married. I’m used to it; we have our rhythm.
While sometimes there are heated conversations about money, they are few and far between.
I feel in control of my money which gives me a feeling of independence. But I also feel like his money and my money is “our” money regardless of whose bank account it’s in or whose name it’s under. We still make large financial decisions together and align on future goals for our money. So it’s a system that has simply worked for us.
Do you prefer joint or separate finances? What do you think of separate finances?
This was refreshing. My husband and I have been married for 15 years and we have never mixed our money. This is about how we do it as well. We don’t have any joint accounts and my hubby is a major saver. I’m the spender, so he usually saves for big household expenses and vacations and then I pay extra above my regular “share” of our household bills. It’s not perfect as I should be better about saving and wish I could just absorb his indifference to impulsive decisions, but at the same time it works for us. We never argue about money, though I also have never spent so much that I couldn’t pay for my share of things either.
Thanks for sharing, Heather. I agree it’s not perfect, but it’s perfect for us. Never arguing about money is why I haven’t wanted to change it.
Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially when you’re married to someone you never get tired of regardless of their past or how much of a current nuisance they are. 🙂
My fiancé and I are thinking about doing the same thing once we’re married. One joint account for major expenses and then two individual accounts for our own spending. We also have a pretty significant income difference so it’s nice to see an example where it’s worked out!!
I encourage you to do it! Just have a conversation before and get as specific as you can about who’s responsible for what. It makes things a lot easier! We rarely argue or disagree over finances. But when we do, it’s usually over something the in “gray” area that we never truly established who’s financial responsibility it was.
That’s surely a good way of doing things for accountability and tax reporting purposes.
I hadn’t ever thought of it that way, but I suppose so. It’s pretty clear cut who has paid for what.
The Financial Freewill says
Both separate and joint finances have worked for us. My wife and I dated for close to 5 years and now married for 8 years. After a year of marriage, we combined our finances for the most part.
By that I mean, we simply went to the bank and opened a joint checking and a joint savings account. Both of us have our individual checking accounts that are separate. Every month we have a set % of amount going to the joint accounts (in the form of savings and backup checking)
The idea is for both of us to keep an eye on our household finances so that none of use are caught off guard but at the same time have the option of spending from our individual checking accounts without arguing or disagreeing about it.
So far it has worked really well (it took us a year or two to get in sync) and now we both know the drill.
Good article Stephanie!
It sounds like you have found a happy medium! I like the fact you have a joint checking AND invididual checking. We’ve only every had finances separate. But I think I could consider combining if we still had our own checking accounts.
Kirt Hill says
My husband and I have been doing the same for 5 years and 3 years prior while dating. We have similar income splits as you. The only tweak to your plan is that we also have a shared checking account. So rather than you wiring money to your husband, we both transfer money to the shared account. All the bills are on autopay from that account so we keep an eye on it to not overdraft. Discussions around not planned expenses help when they come up, so do our shared emergency fund!
Given our income is so different and our hobbies/interests are so different (haha), it’s helpful to keep our spending money separate and focus on just ourselves for that portion.
Appreciate your sharing!!! Go Team Separate!
Julie Barrow says
I found this really interesting and a good way to work the finances before having children. The thing I noticed is that you earn a lot less than your husband (financially) and I’m guessing part of that equation is that you are the primary caregiver for your children. This too has a significant financial value, don’t undervalue this xx
Hi Julie, I agree that being a caregiver for children is an undervalued job and has a significant value!
Hey Kirt, thanks for the comment (and ideas!). I love the idea of a shared checking account, in addition of course to our separate ones. I wire him money each month, but that that does really feel like a roommate situation, and not a spouse. A shared checking that we both contribute to, and where bills are taken out of sounds like a great idea. Finances are still separate, but more aligned.
I hear ya on the different hobbies/interests. Separate finances mean we can spend how we see fit without judgement or eye rolls :)!
My grandma had separate accounts from her third husband. When he died creditors came after her to pay his bills. She had to sell her vacation house to settle his debts. She had no idea he was a gambling addict running up huge debts until after he had died.
Separate accounts can be great, but if one person has any sort of addiction (gambling, shopping, drugs, alcohol, food, etc) they can run up big bills. Addicts go to great lengths to hide their addictions and money troubles. They’re not exactly known for their honesty.
Nicole Ocean says
I’m sorry to hear about your Grandma’s ordeal. This is a weird situation that made me wonder that unless the accounts her third husband had were in both of their names, then she would not be viable. If she wasn’t on his accounts then she would have needed to send his death certificate to the debtors as it was his debt, in his name, she would not have been responsible at all.
Did she talk to a lawyer? Sorry, it just caught my eye as a serious problem that could have been avoided, if my assumptions are right!
It’s foo late now. They are both dead. The gambling debts were collected in a very aggressive, threatening manner. If you owe a bookie they don’t care about separate accounts.
Hey Alex, thanks for sharing this story. You are right, there is a lot of trust that goes along with invisible finances. Thanksfully my husband is financially responsible and I have no reason not to trust him. But with separate finances it’s easier for soemthing like this to happen.
Nicole Ocean says
Great article girls, ty for sharing it!
I too live in a marriage where we have separate finances and it’s worked beautifully!
After being burned financially in a previous marriage, I wised up, but not before having to file Chapter 7 bankruptcy along with my divorce.
I think that “traditional marriages” where couple’s shares money, is on a decline for May good reasons. What may have been the norm for our grandparents and parents isn’t the same for us today and that’s completely ok.
The worst thing that can happen is being in a relationship and having toxic, hurtful things happening with one of the people that you love the most.
Money is a big deal in life and love and finding a healthy balance and system that works for everyone involved should be the goal.
I’m so happy I required that we separate our money from the beginning of my current relationship. I feel empowered, independent, capable and it’s prevented anyone from feeling any of the negative things that come along when a couple shares money. It’s not worth the headaches! At least for me 👍🏻
Thanks for sharing your perspective from both sides, Nicole. My husband and I have only ever had separate, so I don’t know what I’m “missing” if anything from having them together. I agree it’s about finding the right financial balance for you and your significant other. it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach.
Are you guys on each other’s accounts for emergency access or to transfer on death? Or is it totally that you have to go through each other?
We totally must go through each other. I’ve never even thought about that should an emergency or worse happen. You’ve sparked my curiosity to dig into the “what ifs” just in case. Thanks for the comment.
My husband and I also have separate accounts except for one joint checking we use to pay bills. I was 42 when I first got married and just wasn’t comfortable merging everything. We have each other’s name listed as beneficiary on everything so it wouldn’t be hard for us to get the money if one of us died. We also have each other’s name on each account in case one of us became incapacitated, we could access the money. We split travel and entertainment expenses. If I’m going to grocery store, I just pay and if he goes, he pays. We are both super responsible with money. It was nice to read how you and your husband manage.
Thanks for sharing your perspective Laurel. I now want to go and check to ensure he is listed as beneficiary on every account. I know on some he is but I’m realizing the difficulty he may have accessing my accounts if something should happen to me without his name on them and vice versa. Happy to hear you and your husband have a financial plan that works for you. Makes life a lot less stressful!
Our income split is much different: 20% for me and 80% for him. I refuse to pay him for “my half” of the mortgage/groceries/car, because the difference is so great. I do buy my own clothes, eating out, trips to see my mom, etc. To me, my income has always been mine, because it’s so much less than his and always has been. What are your thoughts on that topic?
It sounds like with the income split, your not paying for the bills may make sense. I don’t pay my husband half; I pay him based on our income split. So, for example, if our household bills (mortgage/rent, electric, etc.) was say $1200, based on the 80/20 split, I’d pay him $240 per month.
However, another way to look at it is discretionary income after all bills are paid. Even paying bills based on earnings, my husband has a lot more “extra” money than I do. So, you could keep the finances separate, but look at your earnings together. Add up the total of your earnings, subtract all bills, savings, etc. Whatever extra spending money is left over is split 50/50. In that case your husband may actually “owe” you money 😊
Tabitha J. says
My husband and I have a joint bank account, mostly because I hate the idea of separate bank accounts for household expenses. I can understand having separate accounts for blow money, especially if one spouse likes to spend money once it arrives in the account. Here is the question for the author, have both you and your husband have the separate accounts set up that the other person automatically becomes the owner when that person dies?
Hi Tabitha, thanks for the comment. It has come to my attention with the comments of this post that having each other as beneficiaries is an unknown. I know on some of my accounts his name is on it, but I’m not 100% sure on all. So it’s a great takeaway for me to dig into if something unforeseen happens. Thanks for bring this point to my attention!
We are exactly the same and we’ve been married for 15 year, had our house for 19! It works for us x
Separate finances rock! Thanks for sharing I’m not alone, Shelley!
Every couple has to find what works for them. My husband and I combine finances, rarely argued about money (accept when we first got married) and learned to manage efficiently for our goals by working with a financial advisor. Since we married young and only had $20 in each of our savings accounts, separating finances seemed unrealistic. We have worked several jobs and careers that has moved either one of us through bringing home more, however, with 4 kids, it didn’t matter as much – especially since we combined our finances. Now if we’d married older, after I’d worked my career, maybe even purchased my first property, I would not have liked to share finances and neither would he I’m sure. So there are many considerations to this method.
I completely agree there are many considerations. It doesn’t work for everyone and my eyes have been opened to a few facets of individual finances I hadn’t really considered. Such as what happens if something happens to me and his name is not on my accounts. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
Interesting post! My wife and i keep our finances separate too, but one thing we do is to be transparent about our overall financial health. No secrets. It works well for us so far 🙂
If you only make 38% of the household income adding another child to the mix might call for some changes on who pays for what. Daycare and ALL the things you cover with 1 child will double. But likely your dh’s expenses for the child will not change. Just something to think about and be careful with. I have seen this set up before and as more kids came, and as the children grew and the needs and expenses increased the person covering all of those things was going into debt to continue to cover them, while the other person never felt a financial hit at all from having children.
You inspired me with your article. My husband and I are all completely free, we only pay together for a mortgage. We got married two years ago, it was spontaneous and after that we just worked, slowly set up a new house and lived for our pleasure. But now we are expecting a child and have begun to think about the future and the disposition of finances. Since we already have a separate budget and it suits us, we will need to discuss your method of managing finances, I think this method will suit us.
Jess @ The Exceptionally Ordinary Life says
Wow, thanks for sharing this Stephanie. I must say, I was surprised that there were so many comments from people who also keep separate finances while married.
I do not want to be the pebble in your shoe but I see separate finances in a marriage kind of as if your money isn’t married, only dating, even though you are. And as some have stated above, if you are doing most of the child/home management and caring, then that portion of your contribution is not counted as such, even it is probably on of the reasons for your lower income (as compared to your husband’s).
Also, as someone also pointed out, adding more children to the mix will highly increase your expenses, which will leave you with even less money to pay bills, save and spend. I have to tell you that if I couldn’t commit my money 100% to our marriage, I wouldn’t want to commit my life to my marriage 100%.
My husband and I keep joint finances, and it’s always worked for us. We don’t argue about money either. But we communicate, and consult with each other, just like with raising our children.
I do not want to sound overly critical, and if I did, I apologize. And kudos to you for sticking to this system and being happy with it.
While I think it’s great that when you do separate accounts with you paying a percentage based on income for household bills, your husband handling “house expenses” so you’re responsible for paying all of childcare and other related children’s expenses does not seem like a longterm solution financially for you, especially with another child coming. Childcare in my neck of the woods for an AFFORDABLE place for full time, five days a week, is at least $250 a week (and that’s on the low end) for a todler (much more for infants). So if you’re spending $1,000-$1,250+ a month on child care for one kid alone, plus additional for clothing/diapers/formula/toys/activities/etc., that’s a HUGE chunk of change out of your paycheck, especially considering the fact that your husband seems to make twice as much money as you.
Whenever it’s a woman who makes less money than their husband, especially significantly so, so that the mom can be there for their kids because “the husband needs to focus on his career”, it makes me pause. As a married mother myself, I’m a strong believer in splitting childcare and other children related costs for this very reason because often it is the mom who sacrifices her career in some form or fashion to benefit the husband’s career so the kids can be taken care of. Note, I know that some mom’s LOVE this and would do anything for their kids and I applaud them! But if you’re a working mom whose household is dependent on your income, it’s not always fair/wise to be the only one sacrificing career for kids. A friend of mine is in this very position where she is fully qualified to have a job making at least twice her salary now, but because her husband is the “breadwinner” and can’t take care of doctor appointments, she has to take the terribly paying job with flexibility to be there for the kids (whom she loves dearly). But what makes it even worse is she’s in charge of paying for childcare, so her paycheck is practically nothing after all is said and done. Yes, her husband takes care of all the bills, but it’s not a healthy way to live financially, especially in a marriage partnership. When my friend brings it up in our group text every once in a while, another mutual friend and I politely try to encourage her to bring up this discussion with her husband, but know that for some people, it takes time to make changes.
Now if you yourself are making over $100,000 or more per year, than maybe the child care isn’t as big as an issue so I could see the point being moot since the childcare costs are a much lower percentage out of your paycheck that way!
I completely get the separate finances that work for you both, but as parents of a young child, it also makes things a little different than two DINKS keeping things separate for life. If any of what I say does make sense to you, and this is totally unsolicited advice, lol, but my suggestion would be to establish a joint checking account where you tranfer all money into for bill paying (child care included), and continue your percentage of payments for bills based on income (now including childcare). Then, to counteract your husbands’ “duty” of paying for random home expenses, I would suggest starting a joint high-interest savings account (or more than one), for certain goals like vacations, home repairs (needs, like a waterheater dying), home improvements (wants like painting a bedroom), etc. which you could then continue to contribute to each month based on that same income percentage. Then, you’d still have our own checking accounts for fun money so you can continue to surprise each other and/or not judge one-another’s spending. Plus, having a joint checking account for bill paying also makes sure there’s another person around to ensure bills get paid. 🙂
As others have noted, make sure you don’t just have access to eachother’s banks in case of death, but make sure you have some sort of way to do so for other bills like mortgage, utilities, etc. Sometimes that stuff can be a pain if you don’t have any of the login information.
Beth Anne says
I thought about this too…if she’s making less than $5000 a month a lot of her money is going to childcare and child costs she doesn’t have much leftover.
How do you deal with entertainment, grocery, and eating out expenses? Do you split that in a similar fashion?
Hi Michelle, It seems my wife and I are doing something very similar to yourselves. We have our own separate bank accounts with which we do our day to day purchasing or saving etc. We then have a joint account and have a Standing order set up so that the exact amount we need comes out of our individual accounts and gets transferred to the joint account once a month to cover the mortgage and bills etc. Other than that are finances are separate. Thanks for the post.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Hey Lee – This is a guest post as stated in the first paragraph 🙂
Goat Finja says
It never really occurred to me to have my and my wife’s finances separate. I’ll have my wife to read this blog post. Some interesting takeaways.
To each their own, but my wife and I have always had shared accounts mainly for two reasons; shared goals and convenience. I make about twice of what my wife makes, but everything is paid from a common account. Our marriage shares our financial assets and obligations, not divides on who makes more money. Call me old school, but I believe a marriage is a unified front, not percentages of a whole.
I agree. Besides, separating finances defeats the purpose of marriage in the money arena: to benefit from your partner’s strengths and help them with their weaknesses. I am a sucker for certain purchases I later regret. Knowing I’m spending both mine and his money makes me more responsible, just like I’m more a cautious driver when I have passengers. Separating finances gives your the false notion that you don’t have passengers in your money wagon, but you sure do.
Lillie M. Jacobs says
Hello, Separate finances just happened for us. My husband and I had maintained separate finances when we first got together and it became the norm as we got married. I’m used to it; we have our rhythm.
Alison Johnson says
Wow, I am glad that it works for you. I was intrigued to read your story. But it really seems so complicated to me. I love it when my husband and I sit down and have great shared conversations about how we will invest our money.. should we buy a property? Should we buy shares? Where should we invest? How much in each fund/country? When we make money by investing together it is like a little happy moment between us. There is a lovely excitement in our marriage in growing our nest egg together as a couple. We got together when we were 21 and had no money. So I guess that makes a big difference. Anyway, no criticism – I am glad it works for you but I couldn’t imagine our lives after 25 years of marriage with separate money.
Honestly, I think that it is the other way around: you have to trust your partner’s responsibility to have joint finances, and separate finances are better suited for partners who are bad with money, as some sort of damage control… Another use for separate finances is when you earn more than your partner and don’t have the will to completely share that with them. Usually we women with small children end up screwed under this scheme, because we lose earning power while caring for small children. I know a couple who had joint finances when both earned the same, but after 15 years of marriage, the husband separated their financed as soon as he started making more. We have joint finances and we never ever fight over money. We learn and benefit from each other’s strengths and that has resulted in an increasing net worth. We are not as free to spend in stupid shit, that’s the secret. If we ever separate, half and half. There, much simpler and fair than assigning who is paying for every item in the budget and on what percentage. If you ask me, your husband has it good… Too good