Be More Confident And Get What You Want In Life

Some believe that confidence is something that people are born with and that a person cannot learn how to be confident. I used to feel this same way as well. While I’m not as confident as I hope to be (I’m still terrified of public speaking!), I am a fairly confident person and I believe…

Michelle Schroeder-Gardner

Last Updated: June 5, 2023

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How To Be Confident - Start Gaining Confidence TodaySome believe that confidence is something that people are born with and that a person cannot learn how to be confident.

I used to feel this same way as well. While I’m not as confident as I hope to be (I’m still terrified of public speaking!), I am a fairly confident person and I believe that has helped me a lot in life. That sounds odd to say, but I am confident enough to say it!

I have been working on gaining confidence in myself over the years and it is a great feeling. If you would have told little ol’ me when I was younger that I would be doing the things I am doing today and feel confident at the same time, I would have said you were crazy.

I believe that gaining confidence can help others as well. Learning how to be confident can lead to a person getting the job they want, making more money, reaching their dreams, public speaking, meeting new people, networking, managing a business or employees, traveling the world, and more. Gaining confidence can help a person in many, many different ways.

However, a lack of confidence may:

  • Prevent someone from believing in themselves.
  • Lead to someone being too shy to do what they want or need.
  • Force someone to do things they hate.
  • Cause someone to ruin a meeting, job possibility, and so on.
  • Lead to unhappiness.

Here are my tips on how to be confident. With the tips below, you will start gaining confidence in no time so that you can start tackling your goals!

 

1. Think positively.

Being positive can help you in many ways, especially when it comes to learning how to be confident. Negative thoughts are something that plague many each and every day, and this can wreck any confidence that you have in yourself.

Thinking positively can help you with gaining confidence because you will believe in what you are doing and saying. This will then allow you to portray confidence in whatever you are doing.

Next time you are about to do something big, think about why you deserve it, the skills and/or talents that you have, why you are the perfect fit, and so on.

Read more at Why I Believe Being Positive Can Change Your Financial Situation And Your Life.

 

2. Learn how to be confident from the best.

Is there someone out there who is doing exactly what you want to be doing?

Maybe it’s public speaking, a job that you want in the future, or just confidence in general. Whatever it is that you want to learn, you may want to seek out a mentor so that you can learn their best tips. By learning their tips, you will feel more confident in what you are doing.

Related tip: If you’re looking for a life planner, I highly recommend checking out Erin Condren and looking at their life planners and monthly planners. This can be a great way to stay motivated so that you can reach your dream life!

 

3. Look the part.

Looking the part can go a long way when learning how to be confident. It will help you look more confident even if you are just faking it and it can also help you believe in yourself as well.

I know some who feel extremely confident when they wear their best suit, when they wear high heels, when they wear their best professional outfit, and more.

Gaining confidence by looking the part may mean:

  • Dressing appropriately;
  • Having a firm handshake;
  • Smelling nice;
  • Standing/sitting up straight;
  • Smiling (covered more below).

 

4. Smile.

This goes along with “looking the part” but I believe that smiling is so important that it really needs its own section.

Whether you are talking on the phone or if you are talking to someone in person, smiling is extremely important. This is because a person can tell whether or not you are smiling and it shows in the way your voice sounds.

Smiling is an easy way to show that you are confident in what you are saying. Try it!

 

5. Take risks.

By taking risks every now and then, you will force yourself to step outside of your comfort zone. This can help you be more confident when it comes to new situations that you may feel unsure about.

 

6. Practice.

Before you head out the door, you may want to practice whatever it is that you are about to do that you are nervous about. This will help you learn how to be confident in yourself.

For example, if you are going to an interview then you may want to practice possible interview questions. Another example would be if you are networking, you may want to practice your pitch. By practicing what you are going to do and say, you will seem much more confident in yourself due to the fact that you will know what some of the answers may be. This will prevent awkwardness, hesitations, and more.

Other things you may want to practice include your handshake, what you’re going to say, your posture, and more. Gaining confidence is much easier when you practice possible situations that you may encounter.

 

7. Relax.

When trying to learn how to be confident, you really just need to learn how to relax as well. When you are lacking confidence, you may start sweating, saying unintelligent things (we’ve all done that, right?!), and more.

To prevent this, you really just need to take a deep breath, count to 5, or do whatever else you need to do so that you can relax.

Do you think gaining confidence could help you? What tips do you have for someone who is wanting to learn how to be confident?


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Michelle Schroeder-Gardner

Author: Michelle Schroeder-Gardner

Hey! I’m Michelle Schroeder-Gardner and I am the founder of Making Sense of Cents. I’m passionate about all things personal finance, side hustles, making extra money, and online businesses. I have been featured in major publications such as Forbes, CNBC, Time, and Business Insider. Learn more here.

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  1. For me, practice is key. I am not someone who is a natural public speaker, so when I run into situations where I have to do it, it helps me a ton to practice multiple times. And I totally agree about smiling! Smiles just look more confident!!

    1. Yes, practicing really helps!

  2. There is a lot of interesting research about how pretending to be confident ultimately ends in feeling and projecting more confidence. Good tips!

  3. I do think confidence helps. You need confidence to sell your services to a potential employer. You need confidence to ask for a raise. You need to believe you’re worth it if you want other people to believe it, too!

  4. Practicing it each and everyday is really the key. There are some days where confidence comes along a lot easier for me than others. But it is still tough being able to speak my mind and ask for help when I really need it. Hopefully with more experience working and through life, confidence will just come along a bit easier.

  5. The biggest thing with confidence is to make sure it comes from within. I like the quote “confidence is not ‘they will like me’ confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.” This really gets at the heart of being centered and confident from within — everything else will flow from there.

  6. Awesome tips, Michelle – especially the ones about taking risks and thinking positive. SO much of my former lack of confidence stemmed from negative thinking.

  7. I am scared to public speak as well. Practice is the best thing you can do! I plan on overcoming my fear by attending ‘toast masters groups in my local area. If you aren’t familiar with what that is you should look it up.

    Best of Luck

  8. Alexander Vishnevsky

    For me “Think positively” is the most important thing. There’s well known law in marketing – if you tell somebody something positive – he or she will tell it to THREE other people. If you tell somebody something negative – he or she will tell it to SEVEN other people. But negative advert will just ruin your image in business! Let them better tell it to THREE. Thank you!

    1. Yes, thinking positively is so important.

  9. Jaime

    I have a hunch that people of a certain confidence level are attracted to others that have their same confidence level. That’s why you often see people with low confidence be friends with and date others that have low confidence. I really think that it’s important to be confident and start making friends with other confident people.

    1. Alexander Vishnevsky

      Confidence is your weight coefficient in the great Neural Network of life. The bigger it is – the better for you! Thanks!

  10. Practice does make perfect! I like to think blogging slowly increases my confidence also because we are putting all of our personal information for everyone to see. Besides these tips I repeat to myself that “if I don’t believe in myself, no one will!”

  11. Kim

    I do think personal appearance goes a long way toward being confident. If I am in my “work clothes”, I feel very confident if a patient questions or argues with what I have to say. If I am in my sweats at the gym, it’s a totally different mindset.

  12. I think people go through periods of time and situations where they feel more and less confident too. I definitely have. Pursuing my own business really gave me an opportunity to grow as a person and become more confident, which I am thankful for all the time.

    1. You seem confident in everything that you do Cat. I want to be like you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. Looking the part has played a big part in what I do, especially since I do a large part of my work at home. I found out pretty quickly that I needed to establish some type of psychological signal to get me “in the zone”. I would wear stuff like khakis and polos when I worked, and ONLY when I worked, because if I wore sweats and a t-shirt, I wouldn’t be fully committed to whatever project I was working on. It definitely boosted my confidence in being able to face the day and not succumbing to the distractions of home life.

  14. Taking risks is the best way to go in business. Especially when starting an online business. Always inspire people to be their best through writing and dressing the part.

  15. Completely agree:D

  16. Brittney @ Life On A Discount

    Great points, I completely agree! I have learned the confidence come from a combination of experience, knowledge and “faking it” or “taking the risk.” I don’t mean faking it in a misleading or false way, but by putting yourself out there until you actually are comfortable doing it naturally. Leading an organization has forced me to become more confident and part of it was pretending to be confident until I was actually very comfortable in most situations.

    1. Yes, faking it can be a great way to start building confidence.

  17. Jesse Gernigin

    Michelle I love #1 and #7! They go together so well. Your post really hits the nail on the head.

  18. Yes, a lack of confidence can definitely hold a person back. Love what you said!

  19. Hahahaha SAME HERE! ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. Amy @ DebtGal

    Confidence is SO important!! I have become more self-confident over the years, mainly through life experience, but also through forcing myself into situations just outside my comfort zone.

    I’m a huge believer in faking it, if needed! I work in a college career center, and do a lot of mock interviews. Confidence is SO important in job interviews, and I always tell my students that it doesn’t matter if they actually feel confident; what matters is that they project confidence. Think about how a confident person would present themselves – voice, body language, wording, etc. – and do that.

  21. Love it. I need to be reminded to take risks.

  22. I love all of these tips, especially RELAX. So true! Overthinking or worrying too much about a situation will for sure kill your confidence. I would add: know you’re worth it. If you dress the part and practice and all the rest but deep down think you’re not worth whatever you’re asking for, then the confidence will never be real. But everyone deserves to be here, and to find happiness and fulfillment in life. So be bold and ask for what you want in life! ๐Ÿ™‚

  23. I agree completely that confidence can be cultivated. Practice is my personal favorite way to feel confident. I do a lot of public speaking and I practice not only what I have to say, but how I plan to say it, as well as my posture, smiling the whole time, projecting my voice, etc. I say fake til you make it – and you’ll make it!

  24. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful inspiration article.. It will motivate me to be a confident in life..

  25. DNN

    Confidence is intelligence uplifted to the public 9th step and quietly commands respect from people to see you in a certain light. And it also quietly commands naysayers to kowtow to you in defeat by showing respect. Confidence is the opposite of arrogance.