Are You Frugal, Cheap, Or A Thief?

I haven’t done any of the above, but I think if you’re organized enough churning credit cards is a smart way to earn rewards!

The wedding thing is iffy claiming it is a party. When I got married, we did the court wedding (50.00 in Annapolis), rent-a-tux (50.00 w/ military discount) , and my wife purchased her wedding outfit on clearance (plus a city school teacher’s discount costing around 120.00). The reception was at a all-you-can-eat buffet that was planning to close down in the following year. We manage to negotiate the cost around 450.00 with guests planning events with the place throughout the year. Some guests asked us what we wanted for the wedding and we managed to get a wedding cake (friend of the family made a three layer ube flavored cake (purple cake)), a host (my aunt from NY), a photographer (wife’s co-worker) and a few wedding essentials that would have cost us a lot more. Anyway, our total cost for the wedding was around 1200.00. In comparison to my cousin’s dream wedding that cost 30,000 in Baltimore and a friend of family’s daughter (not including airfare back and forth from Seattle Washington) had hers costing 25,000.00 in North Carolina (not including air fare for distant relatives). This involved an expensive restaurant (50 dollars a plate per a person), limited guests, professional photographer and a few other things.
I guess in certain areas of our marriage I have been less frugal especially with the baby’s food. Of course, second hand clothing from my wife’s coworkers and relatives is helpful. And the coupons for the Similac is essential (subscribed).

The wedding one is something I’ll definitely struggle with. You ARE leaving out info on purpose. But vendors DO gouge you just because you mention wedding, whether extra work is needed or not. I think what I might do is say ‘event’ or ‘party’, get a basic quote, then say wedding. If it goes up thousands, I’ll take my business elsewhere – they’ll clearly be unscrupulous on a lot of other issues too if they’re willing to price gouge.

I’ve signed up for credit cards simply for the sign on bonus and I don’t consider it stealing or unethical. I spent a decent amount of money on those cards and paid it all off so the extra points were just a plus. I also a little torn on the wedding vendor dilemma as well. Weddings are expensive, but when I get married I will most likely go with a venue that offers wedding packages so it will be no secret then 🙂

This is a very good post. I had not given much thought to the matter, but after reading this post I believe I agree with everything said. Except perhaps the wedding vendor. I think that, while it may not be “stealing”, it is at least wrong, and therefore I would stand against taking such actions.

I love these questions!! We discussed this on my podcast and it’s funny to think about these scenarios. I have definitely signed up for credit cards just for the points, but I don’t really feel like that’s cheap because the credit card companies definitely make money off of me swiping the card when I use it. I don’t personally do the magazine thing, but I know for a fact that my mom does. She goes food shopping and picks the longest checkout line so that she can read the magazines while she waits.

I think that the determining factor is whether or not you are taking something that isn’t actually yours. Most of these things are simply people taking advantage of the systems that are already put in place. Working the system to your advantage is not stealing. When you actually take something, like the coupon example, is when it crosses the line.

Wow, I didn’t know people actually stole coupons out of other people’s newspaper..that’s low. I agree that credit card churning is not stealing – these companies have already studied the behavior of their target clients and have already made computations comparing all the bonuses they’re giving away against what they’re getting in return. They EXPECT people to keep signing up and know that among those 100, they’ll get at least 1 that’s enough to cover the costs.

My thoughts:

Dumpster Diving – Cheap, but not stealing. It’s garbage. You left it out there, expect it to be taken. The only exception is if people went through garbage to get information on you for identity theft.

Taking Coupons – Yes, definitely stealing.

Not telling Vendors that you’re having a wedding – Depends. If you don’t say it’s a wedding but still give them ALL the information they need, then it’s being frugal. But if you don’t tell your DJ that you expect them to MC as part of their job, that’s stealing.

Reading books & magazines – Stealing. A browse like you said is fine but not majority of it.

Credit Card bonuses – Frugal bordering on cheap but not stealing.

I can think of only one situation when dumpster diving could be considered stealing. That is taking from containers marked for recycling. The charge to communities for waste management depends partially on what value that can be recouped from selling recyclables. Taking the high value recyclables is stealing from taxpayers and the community because it could impact the cost everyone pays for the trash-collecting service.

I don’t do it myself, but would fully condone dumpster diving. I can think back on a LOT of times where I, and people I know, took an item to the trash because it was too cumbersome (or in too poor a shape) to send to Goodwill, and couldn’t find anyone we know who would take it. I know lots of people who will leave items on their curb IN HOPES that someone will take it so that it doesn’t have to get trashed.

Many times the intention of the dumpster treasure’s original owner was to give their item a second life, but they couldn’t do it in time. So in these cases, dumpster diving is actually doing the owner a favor.

And sure, you can’t confirm what the owner’s intentions actually were – but, at the very least, you’re doing the earth a small favor, and that’s nice too.