Things I Stopped Pretending I Needed in My 30s

Sometime in my 30s, I realized I was tired of holding on to things I didn’t actually want anymore.

And I don’t just mean clutter in my house. I mean the pressure to always be productive, the need to keep up with trends, the guilt of saying no, and the idea that success has to look a certain way.

Around the time I turned 30, I read a book called Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and it really changed the way I thought about time, money, work, and what I actually need. If you take anything from this article, let it be this: Read that book. It’s not about getting more done and checking off your to-do list.

There’s something about getting older that makes you rethink what really matters. You may be like me and notice your perspective on what you thought was “essential” starts to change.

Some of these were physical items like cosmetics and fast fashion, while others were beliefs or expectations I carried in my late teens and 20s.

This decade of my life has been less about what I need to buy or gain and more about what I no longer need to carry. I’ve been letting go of unrealistic standards and pressure and have started creating room for things that truly matter to me.

In this post, I’m sharing:

• How my 30s made me rethink everything
• How to figure out if you actually need something
• Things I stopped buying (or stopped buying as much)
• Non-physical things I stopped needing in my 30s

Here are things I stopped pretending I needed in my 30s. 

How My 30s Made Me Rethink Everything

When I was in my 20s, I really thought I had everything figured out. I really assumed my thoughts, beliefs, and the goals I was chasing would stay the same forever.

However, once I turned 30, I started to realize a few things were shifting, and every year, I was really changing. I stopped believing and thinking certain things, and I also stopped buying stuff that no longer aligned with my values.

If you’re someone who feels like you have a lot of mental clutter and you want your peace back, take a step now to truly recognize what is worth your time and energy.

These things can be physical, like brand new electronics or new fitness equipment, or maybe they aren’t physical – they can be expectations, worries, or beliefs you’ve carried for years without questioning. 

It’s time to let go of things that no longer serve you. 

The Hidden Cost of Owning Too Much

I have realized that owning more things leads to more mental clutter. More stuff = more decisions to make.

The cost of owning too much isn’t just the price you pay at the store. It’s also the time spent cleaning, organizing, storing, moving, and thinking about all of it.

I buy fewer things now, but I also buy better things. I invest in higher-quality clothing so it lasts longer. I spend money on tools and hobbies I enjoy, like watercolor, pottery, and stained glass. I choose experiences (like craft clubs) instead of buying random things at HomeGoods.

There are certain purchases that genuinely make life better, and it’s important to become more intentional about recognizing what those things are for you.

How To Figure Out if You Actually Need To Buy Something

Taking a minute to check in with yourself and to see if you really need something can help you avoid impulse buys.

There have been so many times when I’m at the store or shopping online, and I get a rush of excitement from buying something new.

But there have also been so many times that the excitement passes, and I realize I didn’t need the item in the first place.

One of the easiest places to start was with my spending. Before buying something, I started asking myself better questions.

Ask yourself these questions before buying new things:

• Do I actually need this?
• Will I use this in the next 30 days?
• Am I buying this because I want it or because I saw someone else with it?
• Do I already own something similar?
• Would I still want this if it were not on sale?
• Is this for my real life or my fantasy life?
• What else could I do with this money?

Just spending a little extra time thinking about whether you truly want this item can help you save money and have fewer things sitting around your house.

Things I Stopped Buying (Or Stopped Buying as Much)

One of the first places I noticed this shift was in my spending.

I started looking around my house and realized that so many things I bought were either barely used, bought because they were on sale, or purchased because I thought they would help me become a more organized, stylish, or productive version of myself.

Now, I try to be more honest about what I actually use and what just sounds good in the moment.

Here’s what I’ve stopped buying:

• Fast fashion
• Excess makeup; I now only wear sunscreen that doubles as foundation, blush, and tinted chapstick
• Random Amazon gadgets that I see trending online
• Cheap furniture that needs replacing
• Holiday decorations every single year
• Paper planners; I have truly never finished using one
• Bulk purchases that end up going to waste
• Clearance items just because they’re on sale

Non-Physical Things I Stopped Needing in My 30s

The physical things were easier to notice because I could see them around my house. But the non-physical things were harder to recognize.

These were the beliefs, expectations, and pressures I had carried for years without always realizing it. 

And honestly, letting go of these has made a bigger difference in my life than clearing out a closet or buying fewer things.

There are so many non-physical things I stopped needing in my 30s, including:

1. A grand purpose for my life – Instead, I’ve rerouted it to be about enjoying the little things each day, which may include watercolor painting, playing with my dogs, or sitting on the patio with my husband, enjoying a coffee.
2. Comparing my life to others – Once I realized no one has it figured out and everyone is dealing with the ups and downs of life, it made me realize there was no point.
3. Toxic relationships out of obligation or history – I stopped talking to people (and actually blocked them on my phone) once I realized I was keeping the relationship because I thought I needed to or felt bad for the person, even if I no longer wanted to be in the relationship.
4. The need to hustle – I always thought I had to have this grand career, make lots of money, and impress people with how busy I was. Turns out, no one cares, and it’s especially not worth it if I don’t care.
5. Saying yes to everything – I used to feel really bad about saying no to people, and sometimes I still do. I wonder, “Am I missing out on a really good experience?” But I have to remember my energy is limited, and saying yes to too much can mentally and physically drain me.
6. The idea that success has to look a certain way – My definition of success is much different from what it was just a couple of years ago. Success to me now is feeling joy with my family and friendships, having a lot of time for my creative outlets, and the freedom to spend my days doing what I think is meaningful.

Things I Stopped Pretending I Need in My 30s – Summary

Letting go doesn’t mean I never buy anything fun or that I have everything figured out. I still buy things I don’t need sometimes, and I still say yes when I probably should say no.

But I’m much better at noticing when something is not actually adding to my life. And that has helped me feel lighter, spend more intentionally, and make more room for the things I truly care about.

If any of this resonated with you, I recommend these books that helped me rethink my relationship with time, success, and what truly matters. 

• Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment by Daniel Coyle
• Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
• Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman

One of the biggest lessons I took away from Four Thousand Weeks is that time is limited. We have to be intentional about how we use it.

We can’t do everything, buy everything, and be everything to everyone. 

But we can be intentional about choosing what deserves our time and attention.

What physical or non-physical items have you stopped needing?

Recommended reading:

• How I Created a Life That Doesn’t Revolve Around Work
• How To Get Your Life Together: 10 Step Checklist
• If Money Weren’t an Issue, What Would You Do With Your Life?
• How Working From Home Changed My Life (And How You Can Do It Too!)
• 12 Simple Habits for Living a Happy Life
• How To Get Paid To Travel The World