This article is a paid partnership with Ettinger Law Firm. The content was provided by the advertiser and is published for informational purposes only. It should not be considered legal or financial advice.
As people age, managing, protecting and distributing assets becomes increasingly important. However, for adult children helping parents with estate planning, these tasks can feel monumental. Luckily, there is a wealth of advice to simplify the process. With the right knowledge, they can avoid probate, reduce taxable income and keep assets within the family.
It’s Time to Talk to Your Parents About Their Estate
Are your parents putting off estate planning because they think they have years before they even need to consider their estates? People tend to put it off until retirement. By then, they have a lot of catching up to do. It’s better to start planning for the future sooner rather than later.
Even though estate planning decides what will happen to your assets after you’re not around to do so yourself, there’s no such thing as planning “too soon.” Accidents, illness and health emergencies don’t wait until you reach retirement age. By broaching the conversation with your parents, you help ensure they’re prepared for such events, providing all of you with much-needed peace of mind.
Why a Will Isn’t Enough of an Estate Plan
Wills detail how someone — known as the testator — wants their money and property to be distributed after they pass. If your parents have one, you may think everything’s set, but that lone legal document isn’t enough. It only allows them to do a narrow range of things and doesn’t protect their assets.
An estate plan is a collection of legal documents, including wills, beneficiary designations, trusts and powers of attorney. It outlines how belongings and funds will be managed according to the deceased’s wishes. This goes much further than a will, covering medical, guardianship and financial issues that arise after the testator becomes incapacitated or passes away.
Even if your parents have relatively few assets, estate planning can help you ensure they’re cared for and comfortable in their golden years. For instance, it reduces the costs associated with long-term treatments such as elder care, cancer treatment and palliative care.
Medicaid is the single largest source of health coverage in the United States, covering 77.9 million people as of 2026. Eligibility is based on Modified Adjusted Gross Income, which considers taxable income.
Using the Medicaid Asset Protection Trust (MAPT), may be used in certain situations to help reduce countable assets, depending on individual circumstances and state rules. It lets their savings, stocks and real estate including their primary residence remain exempt from Medicaid’s asset limit. They can even spend down funds on permissible expenses like home repairs, property taxes and home insurance.
Debunking Common Estate Planning Myths
Sometimes, adult children who help their parents with estate planning provide the wrong advice. Well-meaning yet ill-informed tips complicate things down the line. If you thought a will was enough of an estate plan, you may believe other common misconceptions. To help your parents to the best of your ability, you need to debunk them.
Take the MAPT, for example. It enables those who would otherwise be ineligible for Medicaid to become eligible, allowing them to receive the long-term care they need. Despite its benefits, many people avoid it because they misunderstand it.
One prevailing myth is that the MAPT takes five years. While it technically takes five years to protect every single asset from long-term care facilities, the time is prorated based on when you set it up. Say one of your parents has to go into a nursing home four years after setting up the MAPT. You’d only have to pay for the one year that’s left.
Another common estate planning myth is that having a will keeps your family from going through probate. Probate is a court-supervised process that settles an estate by verifying the will, paying debts and distributing assets. It has a reputation for being expensive, stressful and lengthy.
If one parent passes before the other, their joint assets typically transfer to the surviving spouse. However, if both pass away simultaneously or the surviving spouse dies without adding another joint owner, probate becomes necessary. You need a revocable living trust or named beneficiaries to avoid probate entirely.
A Script for Starting the Estate Planning Talk
Talking about what’ll happen to money and property after incapacitation or death can be awkward, but it’s necessary. Don’t wait for your parents to initiate. When you broach the topic, choose your language carefully. You want them to know you’re here to help ensure their wishes are understood and to prevent future family conflict.
Emphasize their autonomy. Planning for the future lets them stay in control of their finances, belongings, decisions and home. Frame the decision as empowering them to choose how they want to be cared for in their golden years.
Remind them that they spent a lifetime building their wealth and collecting assets. Estate planning allows them to preserve their life’s work and ensure their belongings are passed down. It also prevents confusion, disagreements and stress, ensuring a smooth, peaceful transition in the future.
Building Their Estate Plan’s Core Components
By helping parents with estate planning, adult children safeguard their dignity while empowering them to make their own choices for their future. It’s OK if they don’t know where to start. Outside of seasoned attorneys, few people have extensive experience with estate planning.
When planning for the future together, they should look at powers of attorney, irrevocable trusts, MAPT, wills and beneficiary designations. There is no one-size-fits-all plan because everyone’s financials, portfolios and wishes differ. Families should start by evaluating what they want out of the estate planning process.
Adult children should ensure their parents can provide for themselves in retirement. Minimizing taxes and reducing countable assets helps ensure they have enough funds to remain self-sufficient without risking Medicaid eligibility. Whether they want to donate to charitable organizations or keep assets within the family, avoiding probate is key.
How Ettinger Assists With Organizing Estate Plans
With 12 locations and a large team of legal experts, Ettinger Law Firm is the largest elder law and estate planning law firm in New York. Since its founding in 1991, it has prepared thousands of estate plans for generations of families. It can help your parents protect their assets and still qualify for Medicaid.
This law firm’s practice areas include Medicaid asset protection, elder law estate planning, Medicaid strategies and applications, estate tax savings, and probate and trust administration. It combines elder law and estate planning for a comprehensive approach.
Throughout the years, Ettinger has been recognized by distinguished institutions and won several awards, demonstrating its commitment to its clients. In 2024, it was inducted as an Honored Listee in the 125-year-old Marquis WhosWho. The next year, it was named a Top Elder Law Firm. As of 2026, it has an A-plus rating from the Better Business Bureau.
It doesn’t take retainers — you don’t pay a penny until you sign a document. Even then, Ettinger offers no-cost calls and emails. Before you agree to an attorney-client relationship, it can conduct free legal reviews and consultations. If you need help understanding legal concepts, the team will take the time to educate you. You’ll still get plenty of time to make decisions.
Frequently Asked Questions About Estate Planning
Interpreting the law can be challenging, especially for adult children helping parents with estate planning. There may be legal jargon you don’t understand or debt you don’t know about, complicating matters. The more you know, the easier things will be.
What’s the difference between estate and inheritance taxes?
Estate taxes are owed when property is transferred after death. The deceased person’s estate pays for them. Inheritance taxes only apply in select states. The beneficiaries pay them after they receive assets from the estate.
How do I tactfully bring up estate planning to my parents?
If you’re worried about making things awkward or causing a fight, it’s wise to create a strategy before broaching the topic. Frame estate planning as honoring their life’s work, fulfilling their wishes or building a bridge to the next generation rather than focusing on their mortality.
How do I handle things like crypto and social media?
Are your parents’ emails, social media accounts, blogs and virtual currencies included in their wills? The Revised Uniform Fiduciary Access to Digital Assets Act sets rules regarding digital asset ownership. Terms of service agreements can also control the transfer of assets. It’s best to consult legal experts for portfolio-specific advice.
Children Can Help Parents With Estate Planning
When you help your parents with estate planning, you safeguard assets that took a lifetime to build and secure their legacies for generations to come. Whether their portfolios are a mystery to you or you’re managing their finances down to the last utility bill, getting help from a legal expert is always a good idea.
Over time, your parents’ assets, health and wishes may change. Even if they stay the same, taxes and laws evolve. By working with elder law and estate planning attorneys, you keep their plans from becoming obsolete.
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