People take part in emotional spending for many different reasons. You might have had a bad day at work, a fight with your loved one, and so on. You might even be spending because you are so stressed out about the amount of credit card debt you have racked up.
While a certain level of emotional spending may be acceptable in some cases, it can quickly get out of hand and turn into a problem.
The other day I was watching someone on TV who said that they had tens of thousands of dollars worth of credit card debt due to emotional spending.
This spending may have relieved their stress for a few seconds, but then the reality would always quickly set in that money was a big stressor of theirs as well.
I’ve mentioned this statistic before, but it is one that will hopefully open your eyes. According to NerdWallet, the average household in the United States (who has debt) has an average credit card debt of $15,611. That is an increase of 2.26% from the amount of average credit card debt in a household in the same period in 2013.
While some of this credit card debt may be due to someone having higher expenses than the income they are bringing in, I’m sure that some of it is also due to emotional spending.
Below are my tips to finally kick your emotional spending habit.
1. Add up your total debt.
You may have been avoiding this but it is something that needs to be done immediately.
Emotional spending purchases add up quickly. I want you to go through your spending and see how much of your recent spending and/or total credit card debt is due to emotional spending.
You’ll most likely be shocked and hopefully this will persuade you to change your spending habits and the way you deal with stress.
Related article: Credit Card Mistakes That Can Lead To Debt.
2. Understand why you spend when you’re stressed.
People stress spend for many different reasons. As I said earlier, it might be because of work issues, boredom, family troubles, friend problems, and so on.
For a few moments, stress spending may help improve how you feel, but your mood will usually quickly go back to the way things were because you didn’t actually solve any of your problems.
In order to stop stress spending, you need to really think about why you have this problem. Without understanding your problem, you might just keep falling into the same cycle over and over again.
Next time you are feeling any stress, you should keep the below in mind:
- The little amounts DO add up. $10 here and there can add up to a crazy amount of credit card debt, especially if you have interest charges and late fees as well.
- Will that purchase actually make you happier? You might feel happy for one moment, but will you still be happy tomorrow? What about next week or next month?
- You probably don’t even need that item. If you believe you do, try to think over the purchase for a few days and return to the store if you think you still need it. You most likely won’t go back to get it.
- Avoid any offline and online shopping. I hardly ever go to the mall anymore and I never window shop. It’s just not something I do as I know I will find something I just NEED. You might even want to go as far as to avoid any advertisements as well, such as on TV, in magazines, and more.
- Stop saying “I deserve it.” Many people who emotionally spend use this excuse. I once used to always use this excuse as well. After a bad day at work, I would stress spend because I thought I deserved it.
3. Think about your financial goals.
Emotional spending can completely ruin your finances if you let it get too out of control. Before you think about spending when you’re feeling down, stop and think about what your financial goals are.
Financial goals can help keep you motivated. Whenever I am about to spend money that wasn’t a planned purchase, I always try to think about how it might derail my financial goals.
Is the purchase really that worth it?
4. Find different ways to deal with stress.
Next time you are feeling down, you might want to think about doing something more productive so that you don’t waste more of your money.
There are many things you can do if you are looking for tips on how to reduce stress and emotional spending. You might want to exercise, sit on the couch and watch a movie, hang out with friends, and so on.
If you really want to solve your stress spending, then you might want to reach the root of the problem. This means actually solving your problems instead of finding ways to cope with them.
It may not be as much fun to some, but instead of spending your money on things you don’t need, you could also deal with your stress by using the money you are spending and putting it towards some sort of financial goal. So, instead of buying a new shirt whenever you are feeling down, maybe put that money towards a retirement goal or a vacation fund.
Related article: How To Enjoy Life Without Going Broke.
5. Stick to a budget.
With this post, I’m not trying to say that you should cut out all spending. Instead, you should create a budget for yourself and still include some fun spending as long as it fits in your budget.
A budget is great because it can help keep you in check when it comes to your spending.
Once you realize how much money you have to work with, you will most likely spend less because everything is finally out in the open.
Related article: Do You Need A Budget?
Are you guilty of emotional spending? What tips do you have for a person who is?
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Petr says
Thanks Michelle….good reminder about money savings. I work with this issue just now… 🙂 Petr
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Welcome 🙂
Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank says
I think adding up all debts is really a good technique because when we know how much exactly the debt we need to pay makes us to think twice from spending again. This is the stage when we need to admit to ourselves that we are in debt and need to manage our money well.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Yes, exactly!
Maureen @ A Debt Free Stress Free Life says
I have to disagree with one thing. Any emotional spending is unacceptable. When you make a purchase it should be from a place of need not want. When you desire something you can’t have you get in as much trouble as when you use money to fill unmet emotional needs which is where emotional spending comes from. I like the tools you outline as ways to combat this problem.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
I think it really just depends on the person, how much money they are spending, and whether it’s in their budget or not. For example, if a person is feeling down for no reason at all but they know that something easy such as a $1 lemonade for a one time occurrence will do the trick and it’s already budgeted for, then in cases like this it might be just fine.
MyMoneyDesign says
The best thing an emotional spender can do is to find a good hobby to get lost in. Running, reading, drawing, cleaning, … anything but hitting the Mall.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Yes, definitely. Great idea!
Amanda S @ Passionately Simple Life says
Being honest with yourself is definitely one of the hardest parts for most people! Being able to see the financial goals you really want to work towards helps more than most people can imagine. Everyday I see our well – loved kitchen reminds me that eating out or buying out too many snacks takes away the resources that can pay for a new kitchen that we can enjoy even more. Thanks for the great post.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Thank you Amanda 🙂
Dawn says
For me, starting to talk to a therapist about stress reduction has been very helpful. Many I know spend from an emotional stand point. I am learning positive ways to handle stress. I too don’t want to go to the mall these days. Helps the wallet.
A family member of ours has little income but I see a lot of ’emotional buying’ behavior especially on her down days. It’s hard because we don’t know how to help her better and then she gets down on herself when the credit bills come in. It’s a vicious cycle.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Talking to a therapist is another great thing to do if a person just can’t seem to kick an emotional spending habit. Glad that you are finding it helpful.
Barry @ Moneywehave says
I sometimes find that my frugalness prevents me from spending in certain situations and I guess I could call it emotional not spending. There’s just times when I should just not think about it and spend a bit when I’ve earned it.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Yes! I know exactly how you feel. I have a hard time spending in many situations as well.
Amy @ DebtGal says
In the past, I’ve had almost the opposite problem. Things would pick up financially – my husband got a bonus, I earned extra side hustle money, we got a tax refund, etc. – and then I would loosen up on my spending a bit because I felt more optimistic about our finances. I’ve had to really stay aware of this, and, like you said, focus on our financial goals and budget, to keep from falling victim to it.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I would loosen up and then it would all go downhill from there.
Harmony @ creatingmykaleidoscope says
This is my problem too. If I’m stressed, I will scrutinize every penny spent. The problem comes with my relaxed attitude and the dangerous thought that “we can afford it.” I’m working on a big chart of our decreasing credit card balances to remind us that we still have a lot of debt, but motivate us to keep paying the cards down.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Awesome!
Chonce says
Unfortunately I can be an emotional spender and emotional eater at times, but sticking to my budget really helps keep me on track. I always try to remain focused on my goals (financial stability, being healthy and active) and consider how spending and eating emotionally will take me further and further away from achieving those goals.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
A budget is just SO helpful!
Nicola says
I can totally understand where emotional spending comes from – I used to be an emotional eater and it took a lot of time and honesty to work out what was behind it all. I think being honest with yourself is the first step to tackling the problem, though this is easier said than done!
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Yes, being honest is a very important step.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
That’s a good rule Elise!
Shannon @ Financially Blonde says
For me, I stopped emotional spending when I had a clear goal. It’s easy to say no to spending when you are saying yes to something else, otherwise you are just saying no and it makes you more miserable in the process.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Yes, having a goal really helps curb emotional spending.
Jessica says
I have definitely had some issues with emotional spending. If I had a bad day, I would cheer myself up with buying some clothes. I would often justify my purchases by telling myself I deserve it for working such a stressful job. Since starting my shopping ban, I’ve had to confront the emotional aspects that would lead to spending. Now I try to destress through regular exercise and I feel so much better. Thankfully I never went into debt due to my shopping habit, but I know I could be further along with my financial goals if I wouldn’t have spent my money just because I was emotional.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Destressing by exercising is what I like to do now as well. I never thought that would work for me but it definitely does.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Yes, it can be hard to stop emotional/frazzled spending. Trying though, like you are, is always a great step though.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Same here thankfully!
Holly@ClubThrifty says
I overspent all the time in my early 20s, mainly because I was bored. I had several jobs where I worked second shift and that was really bad for my budget. I got off work at 10 or 11 p.m. and literally had nothing to do =/ Glad I am much wiser now.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
I’m glad you are wiser as well 🙂
Danny Moore says
Adding all your debt can really help to understand the total spending. Thanks for the advice Michelle
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Welcome Danny 🙂
Mrs. Frugalwoods says
One way I avoid emotional spending is to never shop just for the sake of shopping. When I do shop, I go armed with a detailed list of what I need and I don’t stray from that list. If I see other things I want, I’ll write them down but won’t buy them that day. If I find I still want/need the item a month later, then I’ll consider buying it. By using this tactic, I can avoid impulse buying and emotional spending. Otherwise, it’s too easy to convince myself I “need” a bunch of stuff I really don’t!
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
This is a great tactic!
Dan @ Our Big Fat Wallet says
I know someone who would buy a coffee every time they’d get stressed at work. To stop this they bought a tea set and kept it at their desk. Now every time they feel like going for a coffee they just have a tea – saving about 50% or more
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Awesome!
Abigail @ipickuppennies says
I understand the impetus behind emotional spending, but spending money when I’m already worried about finances completely freaks me out. It negates just about any relief I might hope for from the shopping trip.
The one exception might be food. If I’m super-stressed about finances, I feel less capable of coping. So I buy a bunch of junk food and maybe go to a sit-down restaurant instead of basic fast food.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
I’m the same way. If I’m worried about finances, I cannot spend more money because I would just go crazy.
Valerie says
I so needed this post! I’m a shopaholic, and I have such a hard time walking away. Whenever I see a good deal, I hate walking away because of the money saved. I really appreciate the advice you shared. I’m trying to stick to a budget and only spending a set amount a month. Thanks for sharing this advice!
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Thanks Valerie!
Gary @ SuperSavingTips says
Emotional spending can become a bad cycle when you get the bill and start feeling stressed about the spending you did. I agree that finding a different way to deal with stress is really important, and if you can make it something that’s beneficial, like exercise, that’s even better. And putting the money you would have spent toward one of your financial goals can feel really good…if you take a moment to envision reaching that goal, it may even improve your mood.
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Thanks Gary!
Karl says
Great article, Michelle!
I recently started an MBSR training, that stands for mindfulness based stress reduction. Mindfulness has its formal practice – like meditation – but informal practice as well. Being mindful in money spending is a great example for the latter 🙂
Michelle Schroeder-Gardner says
Thanks Karl!
Georgina says
I absolutely agree with the point about getting to the root of your money spending issues because as much as you plan, save and budget you’ll still find yourself in financial trouble if you don’t deal with the actual problem. Great post Michelle.