Hello everyone! Today I have a post written by my blog friend Brent. He writes over at Vosa.com. Enjoy!
Select all. Delete.
This was what I just did to the blog post I was working on for you.
It might have been a mistake because I was almost done writing it.
It was a gem of a post about why you need to give every dollar you make “a job” since that is the first rule of the very popular budgeting software You Need A Budget (YNAB) that I'm giving away 10 copies of. (More details at the end of this post).
But I couldn't stop thinking about some advise I received when I had lunch today with a very successful entrepreneur and I knew I had to write about it.
By the way, when I say “I had lunch with a very successful entrepreneur,”. I actually mean: I went to a luncheon where a very successful entrepreneur who has sold three companies for a combined total of more than $680 million dollars gave a talk.
Along these same lines, I've also “had dinner” with Rod Stewart, “drinks” with Blake Griffin and “played tennis” with Andre Agassi. But those are stories for another day. There were three things that really stood out for me today during this talk and they all had to do with failure.
At first you might think that it's a little weird that the three things that stood out from a talk given by a very successful entrepreneur are all about failure but stay with me.
Many times, who we are today, the successes we've had and the places we are going are all shaped by failure and the lessons we learn when we fail.
Understand Failure
She shared with us today how incredibly important it is to understand failure. To understand that there is a very real possibility that the idea you have in your head will crash and burn into an absolute failure.
And that, if you fail, it's okay.
Not everything will go as planned and, for your mental state as an entrepreneur, you need to understand this before you get started.
Failure IS part of the journey to success.
Once you've come to understand failure you can move on to the next step.
Respect failure, don't fear it.
If you look around you (or maybe even when you look in the mirror?) you will see people staring back at you that are absolutely scared stiff of failure. They'll put off trying almost anything not because they aren't passionate about their idea, but because they are scare that they are going to fail.
Our society, in almost every way shape and form, has placed such a negative emphasis on failure.
This negative bias towards failure has paralyzed you and so many others who want to chase their dreams but are too afraid to start, too afraid to fail, too afraid to let their parents down, too afraid to let their friends down and worst or all, too afraid to let themselves down.
It's time to stop being so afraid of failure and start daring to be disappointed.
Dare to disappoint
The concept of “daring to disappoint” was her third piece of advise that I latched onto with the fabric of my being.These three points, all related to failure, compelled me to delete an “all-but-done” post and start over writing this one.
Stop “under promising” just so you can “over deliver” with what is actually a mediocre outcome but appears to be amazing because of the low expectations you set for yourself.
Stop dreaming about that one day when the timing is perfect for you to start a business, a blog, a musical instrument, a budget, a garden, a charity, a passion project, paying down your debt, something, anything.
Grab life by the horns today and dare to be disappointed that maybe, just maybe, you will fail.
But guess what?
Maybe you'll succeed too.
There is only one way to find out. Try.
As I wrap up this article, I realize two things.
1. This is the first time I've ventured outside of my comfort zone with my writing.
Until now, I've only allowed myself to write about personal finance, making money (like the time I ran a business out of shoebox and made more than $10,000), entrepreneurship and travel hacking.
Although this post can fit into any of those categories, my true direction with this post was to inspire you and to help add fuel to the fire that's burning inside of you.
I want you to stop going through the motions day in and day doing things that aren't making you happier, doing things that don't align with your ideals or your vision for yourself and the world that you live in.
You are important, you are talented and you can make a difference.
Will this first venture outside of my writing comfort zone fail? Maybe… but I'll sleep well tonight knowing that before this post was published I understood it might fail but I wasn't scared of failure. I'll also go to bed with a huge smile on my face after reading your thoughtful comment and seeing all the likes, tweets, and shares. *hint, hint* 😉
2. I did in fact write a post about budgeting.
If there's a common theme amongst everyone I know who's ever budgeted before, that theme is failure. They fail to stay under their budget, they fail to reach their emergency fund goal by their self-imposed deadline, they fail to eliminate eating out and so on.
Budgeting is hard, but it can also be be very liberating. It can be liberating when you finally know where the heck you're spending your money. It can be liberating when you finally start to pay down your debt, to save more money and it can be extremely liberating to finally break that paycheck to paycheck cycle.
Countless people have been liberated from debt, lack of savings and living paycheck to paycheck after they started using, and living by the rules set out by, YNAB (You Need A Budget).
Did you know that the median net worth increase of a new YNABer is $200.00 in the first month and $3,300.00 after just nine months!?! When was the last time your net worth went up by $3,300.00 in only 9 months?
This budgeting software sells for $60.00 but, since today is your lucky day, I'm giving away 10 copies away to 10 lucky people who dare to be disappointed that they aren't going to win. Click here and enter to win 1 of 10 copies of YNAB valued at $60.00.
I'd love to hear what you think about this post, about failure, and, if you're brave, what idea/passion/blog/business you have wanted to start for a long time but haven't because of your fear of failure.
Please leave me a comment below. Thanks!
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NZ Muse says
September 11, 2014 at 4:49 amInteresting take! Definitely the kind of thing I needed to read today, so thank you.
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 10:29 amGlad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for reading and for leaving a comment.
Kari says
September 11, 2014 at 5:13 amWonderful post, and wonderfully timed. I specifically loved the point about “daring to disappoint”. It definitely hits home for me as I’m at “that age” (what does that really even mean?) and at that point in my life where I’m thinking: “What do I want? What do I want to do with my life?” And I’m slowly and annoyingly realizing that other people’s opinions and the fear of being a disappointment has a larger effect on my answer than I’d like to admit.
Personally, my passion is fiction writing. I’ve always wanted to be a novelist, but I’ve always told myself not to go for it, not to give it everything I have because of the very real possibility of failing to finish, failing to publish, failing to matter. Guess I automatically fail at all those things – finishing, publishing, mattering, just, doing in general – if I in fact do not do at all.
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 10:31 amOne of my elementary school teachers told me my story about a talking horse was the worse he has ever read. This deterred me from writing for years and years. I long since have gotten over that and wrote more than ever now.
If you want to write, just start. Start by writing 100 words per day for a while, see where it goes. Next thing you’ll know you’ll be writing thousands of words per day!
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts with your comment.
Mrs. Frugalwoods says
September 11, 2014 at 6:00 amI agree–you’ve got to put yourself out there and take risks! I have to always remind myself that no one ever achieved anything great by only thinking about it and not taking action. It’s hard to face failure, but I think failing early and often is what helps hone a truly stellar idea. Thanks for this!
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 10:36 amGreat points about taking action. Massive and imperfect action. You can do it! Thanks for the comment.
Ben @ The Wealth Gospel says
September 11, 2014 at 6:20 amThe more I’ve experienced disappointment, the more I’ve been able to focus the resulting energy on creating a better scenario rather than just throwing myself a pity party.
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 11:10 amChanneling the failure into a learning opportunity and a stepping stone is a great skill to possess, great work! Thanks for the comment b
Sahil Arora says
September 11, 2014 at 6:29 amTrue facts mentioned really!! Failure has to be understand before getting success. Good one.
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 11:10 amGlad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your comment.
Gretchen says
September 11, 2014 at 6:47 amI’ve heard good things about YNAB, but haven’t been willing to pony up for it. However, I’ll definitely be entering the giveaway! As far as daring to disappoint, this is super tough for me as a blogger, because I put everything out there! Each month, I fail in some areas and I win in others and it’s easy to let the failures overshadow the successes – so thank for this!
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 11:11 amGood luck in the giveaway! Ever blogger is daring to be disappointed every time they hit “publish”. Be sure to give yourself the credit you deserve for that! Thanks for your comment.
Holly@ClubThrifty says
September 11, 2014 at 7:01 amAwesome giveaway, Brent! Also LOL at all the people you’ve “spent time with.” And BTW, I’ve hung out with all kinds of celebrities if I use your logic! =)
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 10:32 amVery cool. Who have you “hung out” with?
By the way, I only mentions three of my besties
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 10:34 amOops… Premature comment submission!
Meant to say… I only mentioned 3 of my besties in this post. I didn’t want to name drop too much :-).
Of course, this is all for comedic value (hopefully).
Thanks for the comment Holly.
Deb @ Saving the Crumbs says
September 11, 2014 at 7:30 amMy husband and I had been toying with the idea of starting a blog for a while but couldn’t get up the courage to invest the time and also risk our ideas being open to the world for criticism. Now that we’ve started, failure is still an option, but our success in at least starting has given us backbone to risk the next challenge/failure. Like you mentioned, failure doesn’t have to be failure. It’s up to us to change our response to turn it into a springboard for growth, improvement, and new opportunities.
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 11:12 amGreat work on starting your blog and putting yourself out there! The more you experience failure the easier it gets to handle. Keep it up! Thanks for the comment.
Amanda @ My Life, I Guess says
September 11, 2014 at 10:13 amSince I was laid off, I’ve been doing quite a bit of “soul searching” trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I have some ideas, but there’s been nothing that jumps out. My fiance is encouraging me to take the blogging/writing up a notch to see if I can make more than just a few bucks a month off of it, but I guess I’m scared to make that leap, too. I think what I should do first is work on building my confidence level up! 🙂
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 11:14 amOvercoming limiting beliefs and building self confidence are extremely important ingredients for success. Start by exploring failure where the outcome doesn’t really matter. For example, as for a 10% discount at your coffee shop or free desert at dinner. It gets easier bit basking and being rejected. Thanks for the comment!
Prudence Debtfree says
September 11, 2014 at 10:50 am“Stop ‘under promising’ just so you can ‘over deliver’ with what is actually a mediocre outcome but appears to be amazing because of the low expectations you set for yourself.” Wow. I thought that was my little secret. Turns out you know about it too. And this successful entrepreneur too. Hmmmm… That’s humbling. I’d say you dared to disappoint in choosing to change your topic – but you didn’t : ) Thanks!
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 11:53 amI’m glad I didn’t disappoint you with my topic chance.
Now that your secret is out… Are you going to start stepping up your game?
Thanks for your comment.
Prudence Debtfree says
September 11, 2014 at 12:08 pmI’m going to stop voicing safe, low expectations. I didn’t even realize I was doing so until I read that segment of your post. In truth, I have high expectations. So no more lying : )
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 12:18 pmAwesome stuff! You should be proud of yourself for making this decision to start projecting your real expectations! Great work!
cave simon says
September 11, 2014 at 11:40 amFailing is often uncomfortable but the more often we face it, the easier it becomes to carry on with our life.
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 11:54 amI agree that dealing with failure gets easier over time. Learn from the mistakes and grow and a human and an entrepreneur. Thanks for your comment.
Andrew @ Budgetopolis says
September 11, 2014 at 1:47 pmI just entered the YNAB giveaway. I apologize in advance to the rest of you who applied.
😎 lol just kidding!
What a great topic, Brent. I don’t like failure, but when I was a teen and young adult, I feared failure. I’m 40-something now, and have been doing better about going through failure, learning from it, and trying again. My eBay business failed, my paintball business failed, and I failed at selling insurance. My first three attempts at writing a book, starting with my first book when I was 9 years old… well, they failed too.
However, my side hustle mobile DJ business is not only a passion, but something I make good money at. Additionally, it provides income opportunities for others. I agree with not setting low expectations, so you can easily overcome them. We try to do GREAT events, and are striving to become one of the best in our region.
I have also started writing again. Many times, I have been told I am a good writer. Budgetopolis is my first blog, but I think blogging, rather than book writing, may be more my style.
See, I like to start new projects, but get bored and fail to complete them if they are too long. My books never got finished, because I would lose interest, get bored writing, and think “I will NEVER get finished!” However, to me, blogging seems to be like writing a book, but only one short page at a time. Also, there is variety, because the topics are related, but different, day to day.
Thank you for a great, and encouraging, article!
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 2:36 pmI’m really glad that you have decided to get back to writing. I agree that smaller bite site chunks of writing, like blog posts, are much easier to digest. Stick with it and when you have a bunch of posts, package them all up and BAM! you have a book!
I’m really glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for your comment.
Nicola says
September 11, 2014 at 1:57 pmTaking risks is something that we’re taught is wrong at school. Following everyone else and being “the norm” is congratulated. I’m working on taking more risks now and not worrying if I fail – what is the worst that would happen if I did? Great article, and good timing. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 2:37 pmI wish more risk was introduced into the school system AND more education about managing money!
Amazing things will happen once you give you else permission to take risks and be okay with failure. Thanks for your comment.
Will ~ first quarter finance says
September 11, 2014 at 3:25 pmI have a very high fear of failure. But knowing it makes it nearly go away.
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 4:31 pmI often find that answering the question “what’s the worst that can happen” helps me realize that total failure won’t be that bad. Thanks for the comment.
Michelle says
September 11, 2014 at 6:29 pmAbsolutely fantastic post and great timing for me as a read! I am dealing with this issue in different parts of my life and as I decide on an action plan as I move forward, I understand that I will have to deal with failure in a different form than it has shown itself in my life up until now. I am ok with this and look forward to seeing how I step up and meet those “failure moments” head on.
Brent says
September 11, 2014 at 7:32 pmI’m glad you enjoyed the post and it came at an ideal time for you. Keep your head up, you’ll get through this. Thanks for the comment.
zaby says
September 12, 2014 at 1:41 amThis is truly inspiring.
Amit Kumar says
September 16, 2014 at 5:12 amHii Michelle sir,
Thank you so much for sharing this inspirational article with us. This article provided me a new way to think about my work. You truly mentioned some very motivating news.
Thanks again 🙂
Liz @ Friday Night Shenanigans says
September 23, 2014 at 7:08 pmThere is a quote I like that says, “It is better to aim high and fall short than to aim low and never know what you are actually capable of” I always think of it, when I set a ridiculously difficult goal for myself.