Learnvest has had two interesting articles the past couple of days on working moms and stay-at-home moms. Whether being a working mom or stay at home mom, both are great choices.
What have you decided to do? What do you think?
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Last Updated: BY Michelle Schroeder-Gardner - 14 Comments
What have you decided to do? What do you think?
Michelle is the founder of Making Sense of Cents, a blog about personal finance and traveling. She discusses how her business has evolved in her side income series. She paid off $40,000 in student loans by the age of 24 mainly due to her freelancing side hustles. Click here to learn more about starting a blog!
I think you have to do what your heart tells you to do! And many women change their minds after they have a child, (or more) and decide to stay home, or join the workforce. I don't think there's a "right or wrong" answer… just have to put what's right for your family first!
It's difficult because I like both. I have never thought about staying home until my BF brought it up. He totally wants me to stay home but I have always been career driven and thought that I would be working, just like my mom. He said he didn't mind staying at home but that doesn't cut it for me either. I guess I'll have to divide myself into 2 pieces and do both!
I was the career person until I had a baby and then I just could not let someone else raise him. However, I was not the breadwinner, so it was a fairly easy choice. I have worked on and off, but loved that I stayed home with them until they got in school. Now I am itching to get out there again. I think it is the best way to have my cake and eat it too!
I have been a SAHM for 19 yrs. I love it! For me personally I could never imagine working and leaving my babies with someone else. Now that all of my kids are in school I do some small jobs to earn extra money but I am always available to be home before and after school. I have offered to be a Nanny for a friend who does not like being home and wants to work. I think she feels guilty but I have told her she must do what makes her happy 🙂
Newlyweds on a Budge says
I always looked down at SAHMs until about a couple of years ago. Then I got married, and all I've really wanted to be is a SAHM. HOWEVER, I have an amazing job with great benefits and I just don't see how I could give that up. At the same time, I don't know how I can do the job I do and still be a mom. I already feel like I just don't have any extra time, how am I supposed to handle kids too?
I honestly don't know, but more than likely it'll probably be a combination of both. Luckily in my line of work, it's not an all or nothing thing. I can freelance and work as much or as little as I want, and I'll likely never be the breadwinner of the relationship. I definitely want to take my full mat leave (a year in Canada), and if I'm able, I'd love to stay at home/work from home a bit longer, maybe until the hypothetical littles are in preschool. But I think it really will just depend on how much I'm craving adult interaction! Haha. I don't think there's really a right answer, just what's right for the person. I strongly believe that a mom can only do a good job as a mom if she is happy with herself. And if being satisfied with her own life means working full-time, or not, that's what she should do.
I firmly believe that this is one area where there isn't a "right" or "wrong" decision. Like Carla said, it's all about what's right for your family. I earn more than my husband, and our health insurance is through my full-time job. He's a writer/stand-up comic/substitute teacher. He doesn't have insurance through his jobs, but he has the advantage of flexibility. He can still work after we have kids, but he can work less without losing his job(s) altogether. Not the case for me, where it's all or nothing. Fortunately, I work a mere 10 minutes from home at a job that generally doesn't require overtime, and both sets of parents live nearby and are happy to help out once we have kids… so hopefully when we have kids I'll be able to balance things well, but I guess only time will tell!
My money, my life says
I think there's pros and cons to both working moms and staying at home moms. Personally, if I were to have children, I'd like to be a working mom. I got a lot of my drive and ambition from my mom, who was also a working mom. Although at times it would've been nice to have her home more, I think in the end this was right for our family, so I'd like to continue the tradition. My bf, although really successful at what he does, also doesn't have a problem with the idea of being a stay-at-home dad, which is also nice to know should we ever have children 🙂
Right now, Rambo makes about 15,000 a year more than me, give or take. He just accepted his new role when I did, so we're going to start keeping track to be sure. If I stopped working, Rambo could cover our bills and we'd be okay. Perhaps a bit tighter, but okay. If i get my bachelors, which I'm returning to working on in the spring, I will probably have the chance to eventually out earn him, if I keep on keepin on. Which leads me to wonder if I even want kids.I'm not really sure I do want kids. It's never been something I really pursued or even thought about. I don't ever have maternal feelings and I'm relieved to go home at the end of the day and be with my man. I do work with kids though so I have to think if this feeling will subside when I'm older and don't necessarily work as close as I do now. I will keep working for our organization but as you move up, you're less likely to work with kids as much as someone with my position does. But, if I did end up having kids, right now I can't see myself not working. I'd probably get bored or resentflu towards Rambo. I'd probably end up getting a nanny or taking my child to daycare. Ugh, thinking about that makes my tummy hurt. Time to reassess in four years when my uterus starts to age.
Michelle P says
Thanks everyone! I agree with all of you. There's no right or wrong choice! And Serendipity, I'm like you. I'm still not entirely sure. It probably doesn't help because all of my friends say that they never expect me to be a mother either, so I guess it's almost engrained in my mind.
Oh dear, the toss up. I didn't used to want kids, but my clock was kicked into full gear just before I turned 25. Since then, I've wanted more and more to become a SAHM. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job, but the older I get the more I feel like there's more to life than working for a pay check.
I'm kind of in a position similar to yours. My GF is more career driven while I want the more flexible career. I still want to earn money but doing something part time and flexible or a work from home job.
Amy Rene says
I'm of the working mom mindset, but we'll see when i get there. I think it's different for everyone & changes too
Carrie Smith says
This seems to be the topic of the month. 🙂 Women and money. I'm definitely not the stay at home type. I would love to spend time with my kids (when I have some) but I will always be doing something. Whether it's hobbies, volunteering or a part time job. That's just my personality. Hopefully I can find a guy like you have that fits with my lifestyle.